Getting over someone is one of the hardest things to do especially someone you’ve had an emotional and physical attachment to. You often times still find yourself thinking about the person even if you don’t want to. I think we’ve all been there, being frustrated and just thinking how the hell do I get him off my mind. It’s really annoying when someone you don’t want to even think about is the centre of attraction of your thoughts. If you’re reading this then you probably have someone you want to get off your mind. I’d be sharing tips that helped me get over him and I’m sure it will help you too.
FINDING CLOSURE: I know sometimes a relationship could end with you wondering what happened, what went wrong. You have no idea whatsoever why the person decided to call it quits. I know I found myself thinking what even went wrong, I couldn’t sleep because it was really bothering me. You’ve probably been there too, if you have some questions you want answers to, ask them. Don’t just conclude, ask the questions so you can hear the answers from the horses mouth not the one you’ve made up in your head. It was hard to do this but the day I did, I slept well and had peace of mind even though I heard somethings I didn’t like. What matters is the relief that comes with it. You should definitely try this out, who knows you could have made some nasty conclusions.
ACCEPT THAT IT DIDN’T WORK OUT: So now you’ve talked to him about it, accept that it didn’t work out. Don’t daydream about what you were or could have been. Just accept the truth, don’t dwell on the fantasy you’ve created about you guys getting married and having kids. The quicker you accept the reality, the better for you.
LET IT GO: I just remembered the Disney song, let it go, don’t hold it back in anymore. Don’t hold on to the past, free yourself. It would take time getting over the past and the memories but let it go. It’s only going to make it hard for you to move on when you are still dwelling on the past.
GET BUSY: Occupy yourself with something. You could get a new hobby, do something you’ve always wanted to do, go somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Get so busy that you have no time to think of him. Most times it’s when we have nothing to do that our thoughts wander. So try not to let your thoughts wander about and find something to do even if it is to sleep when you find yourself thinking about him.
ENGAGE: Go out, meet new people. Don’t stay in your room sulking about what could have been, don’t give yourself unnecessary depression. Believe me he’s not worth it. Call up your friends, hang out with them. Go to new places, you could go on tour. Have a change in environment, interact with people more, now is not the time to dwell on your loneliness. Engage with your family and friends, people that would make you feel loved and appreciated. Be with people, don’t lock yourself in.
INVEST IN YOURSELF: Invest in yourself and your future. Read those books, learn that skill, focus on your side hustle, your mental and physical health. Work on your attitude, heal from your emotional baggage and work on upgrading yourself.
DON’T STALK HIM: Please DO NOT STALK HIM. I know you may be tempted to just check up on him and before you know it you are checking to see where he’s living, working, his new friends, his new girlfriend, the new car he’s driving and then planning how to bump into him coincidentally. Don’t try this, it’s toxic to your mental health. Stay away from him completely.
BLOCK AND DELETE: This is one of my favourite, once I see that I’m thinking of someone too much, reading old chats, seeing pictures and other things that makes me think of him I usually just delete all of them because I sometimes get tempted to say hello. Some say blocking is immature, I don’t think it is. Especially if he’s feeding you lies, BLOCK AND DELETE HIM. Delete his number, unfriend him on Facebook, block him on Instagram. Take out things that brings up memories. You don’t want to dwell on the past so take him out of your life and social media. I know it can be hard when you know their number and social media handles by heart and you just want to check up on him. I have this 30 days don’t talk to him challenge, believe me you’d be proud of yourself in the end for cutting all ties with him.
TALK OR WRITE ABOUT IT: talk to someone about it, be it your friend or family member, someone that would keep you grounded and advise you on what to do. If you don’t want to talk to someone or don’t have anyone to talk to you could write about it. Heartbreak helps your creative skills, who knows, you could write a song, poem or story. Dua Lipa’s ‘new rule’ has some good tips.
FORGIVE YOURSELF AND HIM: I didn’t realize on time that I resented myself and him for some things until I read a book on forgiveness and found out I was still holding on to some things and blaming myself. So forgive and forget, it’s really helpful. The moment I did, I let go of everything and felt extremely free. So don’t hold on to anything, release your self from guilt, learn from your mistake and move on.
Just wanted to share this poem I wrote.
I saw the signs but I ignored them making excuses
Unknown to me you were revealing your true intentions
Looking back now that was a clear indication
Now I know you just weren’t it for me
It was hard at first letting that sink in
Sometimes I got tempted to say hello
But right now I am so proud of myself
Yes you still manage to infiltrate my thoughts
There’s a difference now though because I don’t linger on them
You know why? Because I moved on.
How do you get over him? Feel free to share your tips